I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
