I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
