Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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