Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
