my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
