Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
