After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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