I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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