...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
