I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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