Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just had sex bonerless
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
