i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
