apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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