i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
