i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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