So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
