Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
