They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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