She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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