All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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