you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
