The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
