sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize