Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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