He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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