Duck Duck Cougar?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
