Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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