If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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