I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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