A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
