Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
