i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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