Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
