I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
