4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
