Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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