Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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