actually, I'm a sock model
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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