is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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