the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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