What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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