Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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