i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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