I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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