I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
