so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
