We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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