so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
