the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
