Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she looked like the before picture.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
