OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
