I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Michael Bay diarrhea
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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