Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
