we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
