We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
