Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
