How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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