perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
