eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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