I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
