that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
