And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
