in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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