They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
