i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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